Well, I have just quit playgroup.. and while I am sad a little bit as in general, the mums were really nice.. but sadly they weren't "Anne of Green Gables" kindred spirits.. and some of them were just plain evil.. So because I don't subscribe to bullying or high school antics, I have cut the ties that bind!
I have learned a valuable lesson from all of this though and that is that the only person you can trust is yourself. Other people will always try to cut you down & make you feel crap because that's how they feel. The ambush ex-friend complained a while back about how this physio basically said she was a fat unhealthy slob and spent the consultation bringing her down. She remarked (as did her husband) that if she had been depressed, then she probably would have killed herself as thats how bad she was made to feel. Well newsflash, how you spoke to me was exactly the same and yes I am depressed and yes I had the keys in my hand.. I was actually prepared to put myself & my kids in my car & go off to meet my maker. And to be honest I am still fighting that urge. It seems that when things go bad, they GO BAD in everyway. I find my patience with my kids at the very end of what I can tolerate. It's actually a very scary feeling to know that you could happily pick your kids up and shake them just to feel some kind of sick relief. I am sure that this is how mums who kill their kids feel. That they literally feel they have no other option.. I obviously need some more help, but finding someone who you feel isn't going to think you are stupid & that you trust is very hard, especially for me. Experience has sadly taught me to trust no one.
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