Well after an up & down week (ok who am I kidding, mainly down) due to illness, family illness & crappy work situation as well as pretty much no exercise, I miraculously lost 1.2kg, bringing my total to 4kg in 2 weeks.. gotta be happy with that! Add to that I also lost 14.5cm and I was pretty stoked. So thats the good news.. on to the bad...
Does anyone of the few people who read this blog find it hard to open up & make friends? Because I do.. I find it really hard. I am one of those people who once I do open up, will do anything for my friends and I will treat them like family. I have been taken advantage of in the past ofcourse, so I am even more cautious now. But I, like most people get lonely & it is nice to have someone (apart from your husband ofcourse) to talk to. Sadly, I seem to spend most of the time listening to the other persons problems & not really getting to voice what is going on in my world.. and now ofcourse, I have served a purpose & have been cut out. What makes it so hard is that we have things in common & I don't feel that I should have to stop going just because she has decided I have done something (& believe me I have racked my brains trying to figure out if I have done something wrong.. and I come up with nada.. because if I have, I am more then happy to own it) but it just makes life so uncomfortable.. so what to do? I don't know.. I am just hurt & feeling like, what is the point? Maybe I should just make up a friend & that way I can say whatever I like knowing that the other person isn't going to be oversensitive & tell me to bugger off for no real reason.
Ofcourse it could just be me.. maybe I suck as a friend.. yeah thats probably it, because in todays world of how totally fucking great am I, I am not worshipping the ground they walk on enough.. maybe I didn't tell her how great her new fake boobs look enough.. well newsflash, I am not here to worship you & friendship is a 2 way street.
Rambling Rant over.
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