Number one hate.. Job applications.. they suck. I know I can do the job, that's why I am applying.. I am already doing the job, so why do I have to apply? It sucks.. I hate it. The gut churning fear that you didn't say enough or gulp, way too much. Then the dread that drags you down, when you start worrying about getting an interview.. especially when you are already doing the job!!! Double gulp. Did I mention I hate job applications?
One good thing of note.. I passed my unit this semester... yay :)
Wednesday, 30 November 2011
Friday, 11 November 2011
Holidays
I am a jealous person, I see all these tales of people going off on these awesome holidays. I always say, one day that will be me. Sadly, it never has been. I have been on 3 plane based self funded holidays. All to the same place. Melbourne. Don't get me wrong, I love Melbourne (hence the reason I keep going back!) so it was no hardship. However, I have NEVER left the country. For people who live in Europe or even America, this is hard to believe, but I can't just get in a car & drive to another country from here, hell getting to another state takes a good 2 days (of non-stop driving).
So, I have started planning.. because obviously with a mortgage, 2 kids in a private school & not earning bucket loads of money, it takes some planning & saving. But where to go?
I have it narrowed down to 3 options:
1) 3 weeks in Melbourne (the other halfs bro lives there) & on the Gold Coast (theme parks!)
2) 3 weeks driving around New Zealand.
3) 6 weeks in Holland/Lithuania/UK.. yes, I said Lithuania!
Why Lithuania I hear you asking? Well, I just read this book called "From Russia with Lunch" by David Smeidt. he decides to go on this pilgrimage to Lithuania to find out more about his Lithuanian grandparents. To cut a long story short, it has inspired me to want to visit the country. I would prefer to go to more off the beaten path places, because I think sometimes, you get a better sense of a country & its history if it hasn't been beaten half to death by a billion tourists. And there are defintely some stories which inspired me, like the Japanese diplomat, based in Vilnius, who probably saved more Jews then Oskar Schindler in WW2, yet is totally unrecognised, except by the people he saved. As well, to visit somewhere like the Hill of Crosses, which sprang up from so few, I think will be something that I will regret not experiencing. So it is off the beaten path we go.. in about 5 - 7 years :)
Oh & for those who may be wondering, the UK & dutch parts of the trip are my own pilgrimages to see where my family has come from.
So, I have started planning.. because obviously with a mortgage, 2 kids in a private school & not earning bucket loads of money, it takes some planning & saving. But where to go?
I have it narrowed down to 3 options:
1) 3 weeks in Melbourne (the other halfs bro lives there) & on the Gold Coast (theme parks!)
2) 3 weeks driving around New Zealand.
3) 6 weeks in Holland/Lithuania/UK.. yes, I said Lithuania!
Why Lithuania I hear you asking? Well, I just read this book called "From Russia with Lunch" by David Smeidt. he decides to go on this pilgrimage to Lithuania to find out more about his Lithuanian grandparents. To cut a long story short, it has inspired me to want to visit the country. I would prefer to go to more off the beaten path places, because I think sometimes, you get a better sense of a country & its history if it hasn't been beaten half to death by a billion tourists. And there are defintely some stories which inspired me, like the Japanese diplomat, based in Vilnius, who probably saved more Jews then Oskar Schindler in WW2, yet is totally unrecognised, except by the people he saved. As well, to visit somewhere like the Hill of Crosses, which sprang up from so few, I think will be something that I will regret not experiencing. So it is off the beaten path we go.. in about 5 - 7 years :)
Oh & for those who may be wondering, the UK & dutch parts of the trip are my own pilgrimages to see where my family has come from.
Monday, 31 October 2011
Another 2 cents...
So.. I usually check out the wiki main page to see whats happening in the world.. and because their articles of the day are usually quite interesting. Today however, I was actually about to vomit. The article was all about "The Human Centipede". For those who haven't heard about it, basically it's a movie about some sick fuck ex-doctor who decides to sew three humans together mouth to anus. That's my 2 second synopsis (I will say here & now, I have not & never will watch this movie).
My first point refers to the writer/director... what the fuck? How sick are you that you would make a movie based on, by all accounts "a joke" and the work of Josef Mengel. The fact that someone would further glorify someone like Mengel who did attrocious things to Jews (among others) well, it defies belief. I am all for artistic expression, but seriously, where is the art in this kind of movie? Really? There is no art in something like this.. not for the majority of us who count ourselves as "normal".
My second point goes to the two sequels. Ok, the first movie was financed by people who didn't know what they were financing (I am giving a HUGE benefit of the doubt here). But the second & third? Backers had to know the kind of twisted shit this movie spat out the first time. But they give the guy MORE money to make it even more depraved & explicit? UNBELIEVABLE. I understand there is a market out there for this kind of crap, but seriously, why give the sociopaths & psychopaths of this world ideas? The second movie is based on this very idea.. giving some sick fuck a great (NOT) idea...
I add this to the SAW movies.. my point being, how can a normal person even THINK that creating this kind of horror for the purpose of making money ok? There is so much horror in the world, why add to it by taking it to an even more extreme level? It scares me to think that there are people out there, who will think these movies are cool & try to emulate or even copy them.. It's a scary scary thing. I think that Britian had the right idea when they originally banned the sequel from release. Such a pity they didn' keep it on the banned list. Why help these sick twisted individuals (because I am sorry, thats what they are) make money?
My first point refers to the writer/director... what the fuck? How sick are you that you would make a movie based on, by all accounts "a joke" and the work of Josef Mengel. The fact that someone would further glorify someone like Mengel who did attrocious things to Jews (among others) well, it defies belief. I am all for artistic expression, but seriously, where is the art in this kind of movie? Really? There is no art in something like this.. not for the majority of us who count ourselves as "normal".
My second point goes to the two sequels. Ok, the first movie was financed by people who didn't know what they were financing (I am giving a HUGE benefit of the doubt here). But the second & third? Backers had to know the kind of twisted shit this movie spat out the first time. But they give the guy MORE money to make it even more depraved & explicit? UNBELIEVABLE. I understand there is a market out there for this kind of crap, but seriously, why give the sociopaths & psychopaths of this world ideas? The second movie is based on this very idea.. giving some sick fuck a great (NOT) idea...
I add this to the SAW movies.. my point being, how can a normal person even THINK that creating this kind of horror for the purpose of making money ok? There is so much horror in the world, why add to it by taking it to an even more extreme level? It scares me to think that there are people out there, who will think these movies are cool & try to emulate or even copy them.. It's a scary scary thing. I think that Britian had the right idea when they originally banned the sequel from release. Such a pity they didn' keep it on the banned list. Why help these sick twisted individuals (because I am sorry, thats what they are) make money?
Interesting Read.. and my two cents
Back on 1200 cals doing the Shannan Ponton Challenge... oh the joys.. can't say I am being super strict with it, nor am I doing the exercise as prescribed, simply due to a lack of time! I am hoping being back at work will make it easier to manage to the intake, but only time will tell. Have lost 1.1kg this week, meaning I need to lose another 700g to get back to where I was pre holidays! I didn't gain wait on holidays.... that happened when I got home!
I am currently reading a book I borrowed off my good friend about the Panther/Big cat myth/truth in australia. It poses some interesting reading and I think is well balanced. Where scientific evidence has shown that some of theses animals are in fact freakishly large feral cats of the domestic variety, they clearly state it. It does however, have me questioning the truth of the matter. I suspect that evolutionary pressure has probably caused feral cats to increase in size, but to the extent of being as large as a lion or puma? I am not so sure! Given the minimal amount of regulation regarding animal importation early in Australia's history(and a campaogn to enlgish up the country by introducing familar plants & anmals), I would guess that big cats have been introduced (either accidentally or deliberately) to the country. Whether they have flourished however, well, I don't think there will be a conclusive answer any time soon. The fact of the matter is, is that there is ALOT of undisturbed open country out there for determinedly reclusive animals to hide in. I dare say the question won't be answered until human expansion forces their paw & they are forced into more urban environments, where hiding is harder.
But thats just my two cents worth.. do I think there are exotic bog cats out there? well....
I am currently reading a book I borrowed off my good friend about the Panther/Big cat myth/truth in australia. It poses some interesting reading and I think is well balanced. Where scientific evidence has shown that some of theses animals are in fact freakishly large feral cats of the domestic variety, they clearly state it. It does however, have me questioning the truth of the matter. I suspect that evolutionary pressure has probably caused feral cats to increase in size, but to the extent of being as large as a lion or puma? I am not so sure! Given the minimal amount of regulation regarding animal importation early in Australia's history(and a campaogn to enlgish up the country by introducing familar plants & anmals), I would guess that big cats have been introduced (either accidentally or deliberately) to the country. Whether they have flourished however, well, I don't think there will be a conclusive answer any time soon. The fact of the matter is, is that there is ALOT of undisturbed open country out there for determinedly reclusive animals to hide in. I dare say the question won't be answered until human expansion forces their paw & they are forced into more urban environments, where hiding is harder.
But thats just my two cents worth.. do I think there are exotic bog cats out there? well....
Tuesday, 18 October 2011
Holidays!!
Been on holidays for a couple of weeks! and now I am back at work :(
I am also an aunty again & I lost an uncle.. the circle of life continues!
Holidays were great, gave the diet a break & pretty much just ate what I wanted (&drank!) and miraculously didn't put on weight. I suspect however that I have lost weight as I am REALLY bloated from the onset of TTOM.. the joys!
Exam next week.. then no uni for 3 whole months!! WOOHOO!
I am also an aunty again & I lost an uncle.. the circle of life continues!
Holidays were great, gave the diet a break & pretty much just ate what I wanted (&drank!) and miraculously didn't put on weight. I suspect however that I have lost weight as I am REALLY bloated from the onset of TTOM.. the joys!
Exam next week.. then no uni for 3 whole months!! WOOHOO!
Monday, 12 September 2011
Frustration
My oldest will be 5 in 10 days. It's amazing how fast the last 5 years have gone. And now she is at Kindy. She loves it. Although, admittedly she doesn't like having to wear a uniform.
How to say this? I work, I work because I have to, and in part because I want to. But mostly because I have to. So I miss out on some of the drop off/pick ups. So I don't get to be in the "stay at home mum" clique. So my daughter gets left out of pretty much everything. She hardly gets invited to parties & in return, the girls mums aren't bringing their girls to hers. This makes me so very very sad.
These kids are 4 & 5. You shouldn't be teaching them that some kids aren't to be played with or they aren't good enough simply because their mummy (in this case me) has to work(meaning their mummies can't afford NOT to work). The problem ofcourse is that we don't live in an affluent suburb. Our area is middle of the road. If you have slightly more money, you live in the private estate section & send your kids to the higher priced anglican school. Unless you are catholic in which case they go to the catholic school. Middle of the roaders (& non-demoninational/non-believers) go to the christan college. We chose the school simply because we aren't catholic and we didn't like the public schools(and at the time, the anglican school was not even built!). We are christians though & this school aligns best with our beliefs. But yes, we aren't rich, but to make life more comfortable, I work. Plus it gives me adult time. Totally away from the kids. Does that make me a bad mum? I would rather use my brain then spend my days walking around the shops mindlessly or sitting at home.
I know that I shouldn't care, that in time, the kids desires will take over from what the parents try to do. But see, I know how Eliana will feel when she realises that she is missing out. And it breaks my heart. I went through my school years as the unpopular one, never invited anywhere, never allowed to have friends over(the very rare one I did have). I had a lonely lonely childhood. It never really ended. Even now, I feel that horrible left out loneliness. I guess that is why, in part, I do find it hard to fit in, talk to new people & make new "friends". I tried obviously to be that popular person & it backfired. I know that is not who I am. And while I don't want my daughter to be like me, or be super popular, I do want her to fit in, be invited places & not feel that horrible sense of being the outcast that I still struggle with today.
Maybe that is part of the problem, the way that I am. Maybe I should make more of an effort to talk to these mums & take the first steps. But oh the fear of that rejection, not for me, but for my daughter. Because she has to be in school with these kids (and their parents) for the next 13 years!
How to say this? I work, I work because I have to, and in part because I want to. But mostly because I have to. So I miss out on some of the drop off/pick ups. So I don't get to be in the "stay at home mum" clique. So my daughter gets left out of pretty much everything. She hardly gets invited to parties & in return, the girls mums aren't bringing their girls to hers. This makes me so very very sad.
These kids are 4 & 5. You shouldn't be teaching them that some kids aren't to be played with or they aren't good enough simply because their mummy (in this case me) has to work(meaning their mummies can't afford NOT to work). The problem ofcourse is that we don't live in an affluent suburb. Our area is middle of the road. If you have slightly more money, you live in the private estate section & send your kids to the higher priced anglican school. Unless you are catholic in which case they go to the catholic school. Middle of the roaders (& non-demoninational/non-believers) go to the christan college. We chose the school simply because we aren't catholic and we didn't like the public schools(and at the time, the anglican school was not even built!). We are christians though & this school aligns best with our beliefs. But yes, we aren't rich, but to make life more comfortable, I work. Plus it gives me adult time. Totally away from the kids. Does that make me a bad mum? I would rather use my brain then spend my days walking around the shops mindlessly or sitting at home.
I know that I shouldn't care, that in time, the kids desires will take over from what the parents try to do. But see, I know how Eliana will feel when she realises that she is missing out. And it breaks my heart. I went through my school years as the unpopular one, never invited anywhere, never allowed to have friends over(the very rare one I did have). I had a lonely lonely childhood. It never really ended. Even now, I feel that horrible left out loneliness. I guess that is why, in part, I do find it hard to fit in, talk to new people & make new "friends". I tried obviously to be that popular person & it backfired. I know that is not who I am. And while I don't want my daughter to be like me, or be super popular, I do want her to fit in, be invited places & not feel that horrible sense of being the outcast that I still struggle with today.
Maybe that is part of the problem, the way that I am. Maybe I should make more of an effort to talk to these mums & take the first steps. But oh the fear of that rejection, not for me, but for my daughter. Because she has to be in school with these kids (and their parents) for the next 13 years!
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
Illness sucks
It comes to every household... sickness.. and then it seems to hang around forever. I have friends who seem always to have some illness in their house. It goes around & around & around. And other friends who pretty much always have one kid with gastro, but thats associated with pretty sucky levels of basic hygiene. Gross. In our house, at the moment, its different strains of colds. The littlest man has had one now for 2 weeks, so we went off to the doc yesterday. Antibiotics are a go. I was sick a couple of weekends ago & now, just when I thought it was all over, I am feeling all yuck. I feel all weak & achy & oh I hope its not the flu. Add to that I seem to be coughing up crap again.. am I ever going to be able to get back into exercise & eating properly?
I have pretty much been eating what I want for the last few weeks, but have miraculously managed to keep losing weight. I've now lost 14kg and am only 2kg away from being under 100kg!! YAY!!!!! But oh, to be able to exercise & make it disappear faster. We've already decided that after our holidays we will be back on 1200cal strict just to kick start things again. Sad to say (or good to say?) I can't wait!
I have pretty much been eating what I want for the last few weeks, but have miraculously managed to keep losing weight. I've now lost 14kg and am only 2kg away from being under 100kg!! YAY!!!!! But oh, to be able to exercise & make it disappear faster. We've already decided that after our holidays we will be back on 1200cal strict just to kick start things again. Sad to say (or good to say?) I can't wait!
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